i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
