he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
