he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
