well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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