Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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