Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
