When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
