you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
