Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
