So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize