good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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