I puked a lego.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
