this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
