Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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