I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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