he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
