the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
