Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
