Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
