My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
