Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
