No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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