Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
