Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
