when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
