I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
