Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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