There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
