Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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