so that wasnt chicken after all
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
