why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize