Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
