I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
