I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
