Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
