Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
