trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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