Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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