and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
