So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize