Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
