i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize