I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
