I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize