My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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