I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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