So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
