does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
