How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
