Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
