so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I wear drunk well.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize