have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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