and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
