Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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