people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
