I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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