just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
