Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
