Ambien. No doubt about it.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
