his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
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