During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
