"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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