garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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