How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize