Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
