I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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