Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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