It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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