my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
