It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
